Repacking Old Iron as New H2.

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I heard an ad this morning for a company we're all familiar with. Only now they claim that they're building the infrastructure for the “hydrogen economy.”

Raise your hands, how many of you think you're local transportation-fuel retailer (once called “gas stations” the moniker will take on new meaning) will be able to stay in business with 1% of it coming from Hydrogen? Handling a fuel trickier than gasoline, which is the most dangerous mass-marketed commodity, including land-mines and LNG.

Another show of hands, how many think that underground storage tanks for hydrogen will be LESS THAN twice the size of the gasoline/diesel tanks currently buried under that distributor's property? I'm guessing that to handle weekly tanker trucks, we'll either be seeing QUADRUPLE sized tanks, or hydrogen-slush. And we all know how far NASA got with H2-slushies. I'm sure the private sector will solve all those problems Right Now ™.

Final audience participation: How many think hydrogen as a transportation fuel is the stupidest thing since the SUV?

This last was a trick question, since the MIT report. Their conclusion was that after all of the societal costs for hydrogen as a transportation fuel are added up, all of the benefits are lost. That's right, no greeniness to the plan at all.

They go on to point out that diesel-hybrids would do FAR MORE benefit immediately than any pie-in-the-sky H2 plan.

Here's the thing, I love H2 as a fuel. I've been a fan since the 70's. I'm also a fan of electric vehicles. And I think a fuel-cell is the neatest bit of chemistry out there. And I will happily throw out my 1st edition of “Limits to Growth” if it'll get us off these unreasonable objectives and onto CHANGE. NOW.

Look, ask Ben Stein about retirement planning. The absolutely critical thing is to start saving NOW. Get something started today. The pimply-faced fry-cook at his McJob or the new junior extortionist at the mutual-fund. Get a plan, put stuff away right now, every minute's delay costs MONTHS at the other end.

Carbon-sequestration is the same way. Every minute we allow these Monstergators to run along on gasoline is a month cut-off at the “other end.” And I'm really, REALLY worried about the other end. Unlike George Carlin, I do NOT think it's hubris to consider that we might destroy the planet.

So, let's calm down. I will let them keep their four-wheel-drive, 9000lb single-seat commuter-vehicles as long as they agree it must be powered by a nice diesel-hybrid drive. (Fully parallel, of course.)

In exchange for their cooperation, I will give them a $2000 tax break. Equal or greater drivability. Quieter, to listen to their loud music. Lower maintenance costs. Heck, I'll even let them emblazon this ridiculous-mobile with the elliptical green “E” from the green movement of the 70's. Peace, man.

See? I can be a reasonable idiot.

Now, I have this plan for selling hopped-up motor-controllers for the aftermarket...